Common Youth Reactions to Traumatic Events and Appropriate Responses from Adults

AGE 2 to 6: Reaction

Generalized fear
Cognitive confusion, e.g., not understanding that the danger is over
Helplessness, passivity, e.g. may become mute, withdrawn, and still
Anxious attachment to caregiver, e.g., clinging, not wanting to be away from caregiver, not wanting to sleep alone
Sleep disturbances; night terrors
Regressive reactions, e.g., toileting, dressing, speech
Engaging in reenactments and play about the event; sometimes with magical qualities/character of the event
Incomplete understanding of death; e.g., permanency of death, association with sleep, a desire to “fix up” the deceased
Difficulty identifying and expressing what is wrong; e.g., periodic sadness

AGE 2 to 6: Adult Response

Need rapid reassurance that they will be okay and taken care of
Reestablish familiar adult protection
Give repeated concrete clarification of what has happened and anticipate their concerns
Provide support, rest, comfort, food, and opportunities to play
Provide consistent care taking; e.g., assurance of being picked up at school, keeping a regular meal schedule, bedtime and when caregivers will be home
Be as tolerant as possible with regressive behavior; it is temporary
Try to remove the association of what happened with specific trigger/reminders; e.g., playgrounds, cars
Explain the reality of death in age appropriate terms, when the child is open; e.g. a private moment, or while reading

AGE: 6 to 10: Reaction

Impaired concentration and learning difficulties affecting performance at school
Radical change in behavior, e.g., quiet child becomes active; active child, lethargic
Somatic complaints, such as headaches
Retelling the event with great detail and “savior” endings
Preoccupation with their behavior during or leading up to the event with feelings of guilt and responsibility
Specific fears triggered by reminders or while alone
Fear of being overwhelmed by their own feelings
Increased difficulty controlling their own behavior and feeling frightened by this lack of control

AGE: 6 to 10: Adult Response

Allow enough “free” supervised time for play or expression through art, music, or dance
Encourage your child to let you or the teacher know that they may be having a hard time concentrating while at school
Try to be patient with any behavior changes
Reassure the child that s/he will be safe and there are people around to help
Help your child associate emotional and physical sensations s/he may have had during the event and suggest ways of helping her/him feel better; e.g., changing the subject, doing something else
As with play, allow time to talk; acknowledge the normalcy of the reaction, what secret images s/he may have, and what specific reminders s/he may have
The supportive presence of adults will help the child not to be so overwhelmed, and help remind her/him that feelings lead to actions s/he may not like or cannot control. Help her/him to establish a sense of control by doing something proactive, such as organizing a collection drive, making cards to send to those in need, or making red, white and blue ribbons for friends and classmates to wear.

AGE 10 to 14: Reaction

Become more childlike in attitude
Be very angry at the unfairness of the event
Manifest euphoria and excitement at survival
“See” symbolic meaning to things that led up to the event and assign symbolic reasons for survival
Suppress thoughts and feelings to avoid confronting the event
Be self-judgmental about their own behavior
Manifest psychosomatic illness

AGE 10 to 14: Adult Response

Try to respond to the emotions that are underlying the behavior and reinforce more mature behavior by including them in the resolution of problems.
Encourage talking about the event in private moments. Discussions in front of others can lead to emotional reactions.
Encourage supervised/supportive discussions about the event with peers if peers have been part of the event. Peers can inflame the reaction if not given some support and guidance.
Provide realistic assessments of personal responsibility and “what could have been done”
Help keep things in perspective e.g. “These feelings will not last forever.” “You can shape your own future.”
Help them establish a sense of control by allowing them to do something pro-active such as organizing a collection drive (which the schools has done) or make and send cards to the family.

AGE Adolescent to Adult: Reaction

Feel anger, shame, betrayal and act out these feelings in school or the community.
May want to move into the adult world to get away from traumatic events and establish a sense of control over their world.
Very judgmental about their behavior and that of others.
Eating and sleeping disorders.
May have an enhanced sense of immortality or an increased sense of hopelessness.
Depressions
Alcohol and drug use may become a problem.
May engage in high-risk behavior
May have a fear of being labeled “abnormal”.

AGE Adolescent to Adult: Adult Response

Acting out may be a way of “pushing the event away”. Help them understand that might be what is going on.
Encourage postponing major decisions in order to allow time for emotions to settle down and to grieve if necessary.
Speak to emotions that are underlying the behavior. “This must be a very frustrating, angry time.”
Help them understand the adult nature of what they are feeling, encourage peer understanding and support.
Help them not to overreact to the impact this may have on their lives, help them grow from it, not lost in it.
Acknowledge the “depressed” feeling that may come and that is survivable and normal.
Acknowledge the anger they may be feeling, and explain how it can contribute to their sense of being “out of control” and “wanting to do something”.
Encourage them to do something pro-active such as donating blood, if old enough, or volunteering to help at the Red Cross or other organizations.

For all ages:

– Compiled by Michael B. Murphy (Washtenaw County Crisis Manager)